Tuesday 22 August 2017

RailEx NE - Railway Modelling as an Art Therapy

In my last post about one of my favourite pastimes, railway modelling, I looked at its therapeutic benefits. After a visit to RailEx NE, North East England's biggest annual model railway exhibition, I felt it was time to revisit it here in Adventures with Asperger's Syndrome, this time looking at what one may learn about themselves through building a model railway layout as well as uncovering one's artistic and creative abilities.

'Llantrevelyn', a highly-detailed diorama exhibited
at RailEx NE, modelled in 009 gauge of a fictional 
Welsh Valley narrow gauge railway. The detail and back scene 
add depth to a small physical space
As well as often being an inspiration to building a model railway layout, a day at a model railway exhibition also shows the aspiring railway modeller just how huge the choice is before them, as said by the late CJ Freezer. RailEx NE showed not only how huge the choice is with so many different model railway products available on the market, but also the wide range of themes and periods layouts can be based around. RailEx NE's range of layout on display featured multiple themes from country/rural to gritty/urban in a variety of gauges ranging from Z gauge (very small) to gauge 1 (large). The 'special effects' displayed on layouts including digital sophistication of sound to simple yet very effective use of scenic detailing and backscenes, which not only add realism to a layout, but also depth. This often creates and illusion on photographs that a layout is bigger than it actually is!

The increased availability of affordable LEDs for lighting up model buildings, street and station lamps, as well as enabling a model railway to 'come alive' at night, but also add to the multi-sensory experience for the modeller. This is where, to me, railway modelling extends beyond a pastime and becomes a form of art therapy. Obsessions with railways and trains has been a well-known stereotype associated with people with Asperger's Syndrome, but seen in a 'different light', I am finding that when approached in a different way, it can broaden one's horizons and experience.

Lighting up at night!
Applying realising when building a model railway, through observation the condition in which real life original scenes from old photographs that modelled scenes are either replicated or loosely based on helps to develop a deeper awareness of what the physical and sensory experiences of them may have, including gaining an appreciation of how different levels of lighting help to create different atmospheres. When placing figures on a model railway, it is a good way for me as a person with Asperger's Syndrome to enhance and apply social imagination by placing them as naturally as possible, looking like they are moving or delivering items, in the middle of a conversation or meeting up. Placing figurines in such way also adds to the realism of the layout.

Further realism is also enabled by creating a sense of period, which can make a layout almost like an open air museum in miniature. This approach to railway modelling was largely pioneered by the late Roye England, whose work is displayed at Pendon Museum in Oxfordshire. Originally from Perth, Australia, with an interest in England's Great Western Railway, Roye England arrived in the Vale of the White Horse region of south west England in the 1920s. Inspired by the Vale's idyllic rural scenes, England soon noticed that with modernisation gradually increasing in the Vale, England realised that such scenes wouldn't be around for much longer. To preserve a typical village of the Vale of the White Horse the way it would have been in around 1930, England set about creating one in miniature, using largely card, what he described as his main medium for the modelling the past for the future.

Some finely detailed farm buildings in Pendon Parva
Starting by taking details of the trains that ran through the vale, England then started to take measurements of the buildings he wanted to recreate in miniature. Taking measurements of cottages in the Vale involved knocking on doors and asking if he could come in and take measurements. Many of the Vale's residents were very obliging, often offering him cups of tea! England's eventual result was Pendon Parva, a imaginary yet highly realistic model of a typical village in the heart of the Vale set in the 1930s. As well as the GWR-liveried trains from the era, rural activities, including harvesting in the meadows are also displayed with an exceptional level of detail. Today, Pendon Parva can be seen in Pendon Museum, Oxfordshire, giving visitors a unique insight into ways of life from the past.

It is often said that with added scenery, small detailing and realism as applied by Roye England and encouraged by Cyril J Freezer, a train makes the transition from being simply a 'train set' to a 'model railway'. Doing the work involved to make this transition, I have found, takes it further to the point where railway modelling transcends into a form of art therapy. Researching scenes to model, as well as visiting Pendon Parva teach us a lot about the past, but I have also found that from modelling the scenes it can teach the modeller a lot about themselves, including how patient we can be, as well as tendencies to get a bit over eager at times!

My favourite scene I have modelled, train passing windmill,
a scene inspired by Weybourne on the North Norfolfk Railway
Ultimately though what the railway modeller learns about him/herself from the activity enables and enhances creativity. In relation to being diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, as well as a creative space it also provides me with an escape to an alternative world that I would perhaps have liked to have grown up in or maybe retire to, where I can be who am I am relation to my Asperger's Syndrome in between coping in the full-sized world!    


Monday 24 July 2017

Ups and Downs, I Daniel Blake, Mike & Angelo and Returning to Rickleton

As I write this entry, the events of my life together with how it has affected my mental health during July 2017 have been consistent with my experiences of living with Asperger’s Syndrome both pre and post-diagnosis, extreme ups and downs.

At the start of July, like many other people in the UK, including many also on the autistic spectrum, I experienced the disappointment of being turned down for Personal Independence Payment (PIP) at a Tribunal after my Disability Living Allowance (DLA) had ended in December last year. As obviously disappointed as I was with the decision, what was most upsetting for me though was the stress of the tribunal. After the agony of a six month wait, at the Tribunal I felt more like a defendant on trial in a court of law than a claimant who had been unfairly treated.

Dave Johns as Daniel Blake
Contrary to what certain sections of the media and some politicians will have you believe, Ken Loach’s film I, Daniel Blake, about the bitter struggle of a man (played by Dave Johns) who is denied employment and support allowance despite being declared by his doctor as being unfit for work, is not an exaggeration. As well as the obvious financial difficulties that removing benefits from some of society’s most vulnerable people, an even bigger danger comes with the unmeasurable emotional costs that it will no doubt bring, including depression and even suicide. Not only will this put more strain on services that society’s most vulnerable depend upon, but will also impact heavily on their families and carers.

Angelo, played by Tyler Butterworth, prepares to make an 'explosive
impact' with his power blaster! 
Like others affected, I am not immune to the stress and trauma that the process has brought for many. After coming away from the Tribunal hearing traumatised, the first thing I did, and something that the age of YouTube has enabled, was take solace in one of my favourite shows as a child, Mike & Angelo! After often having had a day having to deal with school bullies, I would find solace in television. But whereas then, you were restricted to the tea-time hour set aside for children’s television, now one can select what was their favourite show to watch back then on YouTube providing someone has uploaded it. For those unfamiliar, Mike & Angelo was a hilarious comedy about a young American boy called Mike who came to live in the UK with his mother Rita, but their world was turned upside down when they from they had a lodger from another dimension, Angelo! Able to walk on the ceiling and do all kinds of hilarious stunts, Angelo quickly became one of my ‘imaginary friends’. His hilarious mishaps, especially when all his inventions kept going wrong,  gave me an anecdote to what I had often been suffering from being bullied at school. To my delight, I found my favourite ever episode had been uploaded when Angelo entered a TV talent content and his home-made electric guitar blew up the studio, making a rather ‘explosive’ impact!

In my more recent past, what has often helped me come out of downward spirals, is giving talks and training on Asperger’s Syndrome. As well as obvious life experience of Asperger’s Syndrome pre and post diagnosis, the experience that I have gained from giving talks and training on living with the condition throughout the fifteen years I have been doing it I feel has also enabled me to grow and develop as a person, to the extent that I can give a bit a little of myself to who I am speaking to, which has greatly enhanced the personal joy I gain from it. And not long after such an awful experience, I had the opportunity to do what I felt was the talk of a lifetime.

  Rickleton Primary School, Washington, Tyne and Wear,
where I attended between 1982-1988
Though I have had the privilege to speak with the likes of Tony Attwood, Temple Grandin and a few others, what justified this as the opportunity to give the talk of a lifetime was that it was at one of my former primary schools, Rickleton Primary School in Washington, where I attended from 1982-1988 until year five before being moved to Sunderland. Rickleton Primary School opened in 1980 as a new build in what was then a new town, Washington in Tyne and Wear, so I was one of the school’s first pupils. It was the first time I had been back to the school since I had been a pupil there in what was an era largely unrecognisable from now, when mobile phones were a brick-sized status symbol and modern conveniences of smartphones, iPads, whiteboards (we had chalk and blackboards back then) and instant electronic communication that was only largely seen in the sci-fi films and cartoons of the time. Returning to Rickleton after so many years away, it felt like physically that the school had shrunk when the tables and chairs seemed to be so small, and even the classrooms themselves seemed smaller. Remembering what I did of the school as a pupil, being not too different in physical size and shape to the other children and then seeing it as it is now, not only did the pupils and teachers seem younger than they were during my time as a pupil at the school, but the parents coming to collect them also seemed younger than back then! Revisiting my memories stored in my collective un-conscious of being of a pupil at the school and then bringing myself back to the present, it almost felt like being beamed forward into the next century!    

Despite the social challenges and difficulties I faced, academic and social, as a pupil with undiagnosed Asperger’s Syndrome at the school, I do also have some very positive memories of my time there. I recalled some of these during my talk, including playing the part of a Weatherman called ‘Michael Trout’, (a parody of former BBC Weatherman Michael Fish) forecasting a dull day explaining the old BBC Weather symbols we had learned about in class, the magnetic ones Michael Fish himself used to use that kept falling off! Back when I was a pupil at Rickleton, Autism was barely known of, not just Asperger’s Syndrome, but it was through observations that my former teachers made of me as a pupil that would lead to my diagnosis when I was 20-years-old. Some of these observations made back then are still partly true of me now, especially my pastime of reading and retaining volumes of information which I have a tendency to go on and on about and also that one of few situations where I was able to work effectively with others was in drama, as the other roles I was acting masked a lot of my difficulties. But what myself and my parents are grateful to the school for to this day was the way that they persisted with, even when I was being very difficult as we were with the other schools I attended. As such, I emphasised the importance of early diagnosis, as it can potentially help to reduce a lot of misunderstandings, especially as many of my former teachers often felt more frustrated with themselves, rather than with me, not knowing what to do to get through to me. After stepping back into my past, when arriving home I almost expected to see Stu Francis presenting Crackerjack on television, which I used to rush home from school to see! Especially then as we had to make use of the tea time slot children were largely confined to for entertainment!

Just like they had in my past, watching Mike & Angelo and giving a talk about Asperger’s Syndrome has helped me out of a downward spiral. I had been thinking about postponing it, after not immediately feeling up to such a thing after the Tribunal experience. Regarding my situation, I will admit that I am fortunate in that I have the security of a very supportive family, but there are undoubtedly many who will be so much worse off due to the controversial government policy of the move from DLA to PIP. Sadly, many affected by the stress that has come with having to go through Tribunal over rejected PIP claims are giving up their fight. This disgraceful change to policy has largely come about due to misconceptions about the level benefit fraud portrayed by sections of the media, whom I will not name specifically, only interested in what makes good copy that is likely to ‘rile’ people who put it at over 20 per cent while government statistics show that it is less than one per cent!

Speaking at the 2017 ESPA Graduation Ceremony
What I have experienced over the past two weeks as I write this entry is very like periods where I have gone through a pattern of ups and downs, where the downs have become ups after giving Asperger talks. Speaking to students and their parents/carers at the Education and Services for People with Autism’s (ESPA) Annual Graduation Ceremony, I mentioned that what we learn from coping with such negative experiences can often making stronger. To enable this, most importantly it helps us to face up to difficulties and challenges we face once we feel ready to do so. Once we are able to do this, rather than making life difficult, challenges can make the lives of people with Asperger's Syndrome both interesting and hopefully fulfilling.

Huge thanks to Colin Lofthouse, Head Teacher at Rickleton Primary School for inviting me back to Rickleton to speak. Special thanks also to my former Year 1 and 2 teacher Miss Anne Hutchinson, who helped me so much as a pupil as well as my brother and sister and parents, and who is retiring after 37 years of service to the school from when it opened back in 1980. I wish her well for her retirement.

Thanks also to Paul Cook, Principal at ESPA College for inviting me to speak at the ESPA Graduation. Paul is leaving ESPA. He will be a huge miss to ESPA, but we wish him well in his next adventure.

Friday 3 February 2017

Indelible Memories Part 3 - Angels, Devils and Whitewater: The Power and Majesty of Victoria Falls

After the placid flow of the Okavango Delta's inlets, I was to experience the opposite with Victoria Falls and the mighty Zambezi River. Located on the border between Zambia and Zimbabwe, Victoria Falls is listed as one of the seven natural wonders of the world. Known to the natives as Mosi-oa-Tunya, meaning 'the smoke that thunders', one can see why the 19th century Scottish Missionary Explorer David Livingstone, historically recognised as the first European to see the falls, described the sight as 'so lovely that angels must have gazed upon it in their flight'.

Victoria Falls and rainbow, viewed from Zimbabwean side
As well as spectacular sights for the visitor when seeing the high columns of mist rising from the falls and the rainbows over the falls that it brings, over 150 years after Livingstone sighted the falls, for the modern tourist they also provide temptations of thrill-seeking with a range of extreme sports and activities. Whitewater-rafting, bungee jumping and zip-sliding are just some of the many activities to entice an adrenaline surge, but where Livingstone once though angels may have gazed, the Zambezi's flow allows visitors to get close to the edge, literally, courtesy of the Devil!

Sitting on the edge of the falls in the Devil's Pool
On the edge of the falls is the Devil's Pool, an eddy formed by a natural rock barrier, where during low season (September to December), the flow of the river is at a level where it doesn't cascade over the edge, allowing the adventurous to view the falls from right on the edge. The Devil's Pool is reached via a boat trip to Livingstone Island, where Livingtsone first glimpsed the thunderous mists of the falls. To reach the pool, a little swimming and mindfulness of walking is needed, taking care over sharp and slippery rocks, bearing in mind it is a surface resulting from the full flow of the falls during high season rather than being developed for human convenience. Stepping over and around rocks deposited by the flow of the falls during high season, one has to maintain constant awareness of each step before swimming a little to reach the Devil's Pool, where one can literally sit on the edge of the falls in safety under the supervision of a local guide and barring any attempts at selfie stunts which have unfortunately seen visitors fall to their death. By making nature your own while being mindful of your actions, making the natural rock barrier formed by the flow of the falls, one can witness the power of the flow and the smoky mists created by the falls close-up from within. A thrilling experience!

Hitting whitewater on the Zambezi
Rapids along the Zambezi made by the power and flow of the falls make it one of the world's most exciting places to go whitewater rafting. As well as it's adrenaline allure, whitewater rafting also provides the perfect opportunity to navigate nature's power and flow by making it your own. Starting from Boiling Point, at the base of the falls, the full course of the Zambezi's whitewater rafting route consists of 24 rapids, ranging from Grade 3 (moderate) to Grade 5 (very powerful). Each rapid presents a different challenge to rafters as well as a very different experience. Rather like within Zen thought, it helps to row with the flow than around or against it. In this way, a whitewater rafting excursion becomes almost analogous to a life journey. 

Being diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, I often feel that each day is a new challenge, sometimes difficult, sometimes not so bad. other times it can be confusing. When negotiating a confusing challenge in whatever shape or form, sometimes I find myself having to weigh up arguments in my head between thoughts, almost like 'internal angels and devils'. The confusion often comes when not being anticipate possible consequences of being enticed by the devil's temptations, especially if it is a situation or in circumstances which I haven't previously experienced. Within a sight most likely admired by angels according to Livingstone, also lie the Devil's thrill-seeking temptations. And I was about to experience something for the first time!     

Entering Oblivion!
Just before hitting Rapid 18, we were told that there was a chance that the raft might flip. Nicknamed 'Oblivion', Rapid 18 is made up of three powerful waves. Since my first experience of whitewater rafting on Canada's Kicking Horse River in 2003 and having done it on four other previous occasions, somehow I had never previously been involved in a flip. Oblivion though was too powerful and I was caught in my first flip, which could have felt like going into oblivion, but using Oblivion's flow to guide me to calmer section of the river, I found myself able to relocate the raft so that it could be flipped back over and we could all climb back in for the next part of the journey. Whereas at one time I would have thought of such a thing as 'scary', it was a thrilling and memorable moment that occurred in a flash! 

First Wave!
The relative calm after the storm
After the thrill and spill of my first flip on whitewater, the remaining rapids were much more gentle. As a person with Asperger's Syndrome, I find that the daily challenges I face, whether they be of a social, anxious or sensory nature are what can make life interesting. Opening to them, including to any setbacks that may occur with them, can thus enabled one to experience life's ups and downs with more freedom, much less constrained by fears and anxieties. In this way, setbacks e.g. depression, however awkward, can become both an opportunity to learn from and new start to a more positive period of life through what we learn by going through and overcoming them.

The two major rivers I experienced on my adventure through Southern Africa, the Okavango and Zambezi, take completely opposite journeys, one slowly grinding to a halt in a desert and one taking a more conventional and much faster path into an ocean. The different natural obstacles that the flows the two rivers encounter on their journey see them find a a path and outcome suitable to their flow. Similarly, overcoming different challenges that different people with Asperger's Syndrome and related conditions can enable them to take a lifecourse appropriate to their needs abilities with a hopefully suitable outcome. Ultimately, such life events and experiences may disappear into the past. Where they often remain in the present though, is in the form of indelible memories, which will likely remain etched on my consciousness for a long time. 

A huge thank-you to G Adventures once again, including my excellent guides DeWet Theron and Alfie Dovey.

Special thanks to Iain Harmer of African Wanderer for his insight into the life of the San (Bushmen) people.

Thanks also to Safari Par Excellence for a fantastic experience of Victoria Falls and the Zambezi. 

Rafting pictures courtesy of Safari Par Excellence.     

Wednesday 18 January 2017

Indelible Memories Part 2: Nature's Unconventional Journeys - Bush Camp in the Okavango Delta

One of my favourite aspects of travelling is passing through a variety of different contrasting landscapes, each of which not only has its own ecosystem, but has different and unique sensory experiences that await the travellers. After Namibia's deserts, crossing the border into Botswana, my next adventure in Southern Africa was to experience one of nature's more unconventional journeys, the Okavango Delta. A unique feature to Earth, the Okavango River, which starts its journey in the Angolan Highlands, is one of very few rivers than doesn't eventually flow into a sea or ocean. Rather, it is 'consumed' by the vast and largely flat Kalahari Desert.

The flow of the Okavango Delta seen from above
Travelling through such a contrasting landscape sometimes almost feel like hopping from one planet to another, but in noticing the journey's that the winds and rains have brought, together with the journey's taken by rivers, one begins to notice that rather than existing as separated worlds, the natural processes that contribute to different landscapes and geographical features are interwoven, and thus dependent on one another for their existence. The unique journey, shape and outcome of the Okavango River is best seen from above. Viewing the delta from a 6-seater plane shows not only how vast an area it covers, but how the flow of the delta has formed many islands, and where the extensive wet grasslands that the delta supports merges with vast dry sandy desert, a unique natural mix.

Mokoro polers in action on the Okavango Delta
The delta's meandering routes seen from above shows how dependent on the landscape the delta is for its course of flow, but the vegetation and wildlife, from the huge herds of elephants that migrate across the area to the many species of dragonflies and damselflies, are equally dependent on the delta's waters for their existence and survival. Partaking in a bush camp on Chief's Island, the largest island in the delta, gives the traveller not just an opportunity to view this fascinating natural inter-dependency at work, but also to be part of it, including making the flows of the delta your own, as the local Mokoro Polers. Guiding dug out canoes (mokoros), the Polers used the deltas inlets like natural canals, using their sense of presence to guide their mokoros around the reeds and the slow, gentle rhythms of the water's flow and a awareness of the river bed to guide campers to Chief's Island, where I would stay for a night.

Wilderbeest roaming the Okavango delta's grasslands
As well as its flows and rhythms, experiencing nature by being part of it during a wild bush camp also involves taking into account possible safety hazards, especially when the camp itself is part of nature. With most of the camps I had been staying on on my travels not only having the conveniences of access to water, electricity and bathroom facilities albeit limited and very basic, but also fenced off from wildlife, on Chief's Island, the camp was out in the open, including being open to wildlife. Throughout the trip and from previous travelling experiences (including a camping expedition in Svalbard earlier in 2016), I had got used to living in and out of tents, even if it was a step outside my daily living comfort zone, but a wild bush camp was another step outside of my comfort zone within a step outside my comfort zone. Often, stepping outside our comfort zone, in whatever way, we experience sensory feelings that we are usually otherwise oblivious to. 

Water lilies in the delta's inlets
Being aware of the possible health issues, including the possibility of dehydration, being bitten by an insect or even attacked by an animal, I had initially felt my Asperger tendencies of worry and anxiety kicking in, despite having had the necessary injections as well as having taken malaria pills, that something nasty or unpleasant could happen. In such situations, how well one is prepared with the right supplies including the necessary medicines, sun cream and plenty of insect repellent and enough clean water to last two days in the case of the delta, can play an important part in the quality of the experience. Before the camp, we were told to wear colours that blend in with the colours of the natural surroundings, preferably dark green, brown, dark blue or black so as not to stimulate or distract animals. Realising that the guides and Polers I was with were on hand in case of any such incident and that if I left any animals that happened to pass nearby alone, they would likely leave me and the other campers alone, while being aware of such possible occurrences, I began to embrace the experience a little more, starting with a swim in the deltas's waters. Swimming in the delta's calm waters and walking along its sandy desert bed unveiled a richness of plat life, including reed rafts and water lilies, that the delta's journey has brought to what would have otherwise been vast dry desert, similar to what I had experienced in Namibia. As the Okavango runs through what is otherwise a desert landscape, the river carries very little mud. walking along the sandy river bed, one notices heavy amounts of sand getting caught in the reeds, a process that forms the delta's many islands.

An elephant family in the Okavango Delta 
While the high volume of water enables such rich and varied vegetation in the area, their presence also attracts and supports large quantities of wildlife, whose movements often correlate with the region's contrasting seasons, notably elephants. With more than 100,000, Botswana has the largest population of African Elephants, who, led by a matriarch and senior bull elephants, migrate in thousands, along ancient routes from the nearby Chobe, Linyanti and Savute regions to the delta for its constant presence of water and availability of shade from its trees. Watching the world's largest land animals in action, one sees how they make use of nature in their own way, being able to use their trunks, tusks and physical strength to break branches off trees for food, and being able to make use of the inlets for ease of movement and cooling down from the hot sun.

The Sun sets on the Delta
The delta takes on a different dimension at sunset, where the colouring of the plant life and landscape changes dramatically in response to fading light, opening up a nocturnal living world in the process. The night I camped out on Chief's Island happened to be Halloween! After the Mokoro Polers treated us to a memorable singing and dancing display, during the night, a hyena passed by the camp, making a ghost-like laugh!

Part 3 of my African Adventure will follow soon, in which I recall my experience of the power and majesty of Victoria Falls

Thursday 5 January 2017

Indelible Memories Part 1: Dunes, Cave Art and the Milky Way - Camping in Namibia's Deserts

Of the skills that artists and writers can call upon, as well as creative use of colour and language and eye for detail, is memory, all of which are well-documented strengths of many people diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. Though I am often told that I have a good memory for knowledge and information, but through simple noticing through being present with each moment, I find that sensory experiences from different landscapes, climates and lighting leaves almost indelible memories within my consciousness. Nearly three months on from my journey through South Africa, Namibia, Botswana, Zambia and Zimbabwe, I find myself making use of what I have with these to share the memories here on this blog.
Sand dunes at Sossusvlei, Nambia

The first part of my adventure through Southern Africa saw me travel up the Western Cape from Cape Town via a kayaking excursion along the Orange River through Namibia's other-worldly desert landscape of Sossusvlei, A wealth of sensory experiences await the traveller who is prepared to open to the landscape and its properties, as well as being able to observe and experience nature's forces in action. As well as dune shapes, the formation of the landscape through journey's brought by the Orange River, where I started my journey into Namibia, and the currents of the Atlantic Ocean has also played a huge part in shaping its distinctive colouring. As part of an ever-renewing process over millions of years, the reddish orange sand we see in the desert today was originally deposited in the Atlantic Ocean via the Orange River, before the ocean's currents gradually brought it back where the wind carried it back inland over time where it has mixed with salt and clay deposits as well as other elements, including iron.

Dune 45, Namibia
Almost like the opposite extreme of Svalbard's glaciers, where I was earlier in 2016, sand dunes initially appear still to the naked eye, but are gradually changing slowing in response to the wind, temperature and air pressure. Through getting up close and personal with them though, we can experience how their shapes and texture are constantly changing and renewing them through our other senses.Trekking up Dune 45 (85 metres high), I found that as well as the effects of natures forces on its shape, I also gained an appreciation of nature's effects on the texture of the sand, the density of the sand grains and of the dune itself. Often overwhelmingly hot during the day as I experienced going up Dune 45, at night temperatures in the desert take on a different dimension becoming much cooler, occasionally dropping below freezing point. Cooler temperatures can occasionally bring fog from the Atlantic meaning droplets of moisture can find its way into the sand. This affects the density of the sand, thus also effecting both the sensory experience and difficulty of the walking on it. Having previously trekked on grainy surfaces, including volcano ash, I initially expected Dune 45 to be 'skiddy', but instead, the sand was rather firm. It was still early in the morning so levels of moisture within the sand were still heavy. 

The Milky Way viewed from Spitzkoppe, Namibia 
When in tune to sensory experiences of a desert landscape, as well as an appreciation of its physical qualities, one can also notice the range of colouring within the materials that make up the landscape with more clarity as well as how their hue changes dramatically in accordance with levels of sunlight. After the Sun has gone down, another set of colouring gradually becomes more apparent. Far removed from the effects of light pollution and overcast skies, more stars can be seen with the naked eye than usual, including an arm of the Milky Way. With concentrated observation, the colours within the stars, including white, yellow, red and blue also become much more apparent than usual, while the patterns that we often use to navigate our way around the night sky, the constellations, gradually fade within a star-filled sky.

San cave art, Matobo National Park, Zimbabwe
When focusing on the night sky in the desert, an effect I felt that it had on me internally was that it helped me to expand my usual thought patterns. Being diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, I do still find that I can be constrained by thought patterns and that my thinking can be clouded by emotions, similar to how my view of the night sky can sometimes be constrained to the constellations as well as hindered by light pollution. In this way, I felt that by expanding my attention externally towards the night sky, it also gave me insight internally to the workings of my mind. being able to understand the local surroundings in a different light, together with fascinating tours of cave paintings throughout my journey also enabled me to understand the world from the perspective of the indigenous San people, commonly known as 'bushmen'.

San bushmen, Botswana
It is said that Australia's Aborigines were able to see the moons of Jupiter. This would have been enabled not only by clear skies and an obvious absence of light pollution, but also, as hunter gatherers, their eyesight was well-adapted for such purposes. Similarly, the San have historically relied on the the stars to track down animals when hunting animals for food, fuel and clothing material. The way their eyesight adapted for hunter-gatherer purposes is visible in their art work in rocks and caves across the region, some of which is many thousands of years old. Though in an increasingly modernising Africa, the traditional ways of the San people have largely disappeared, they do give a fascinating insight into human relationship with nature, including how we adapt to it to survive.

Sunset over Sossusvlei, Namibia
The sensory experiences I felt I had camping in Namibia's desert also gave me an insight into how the San would have had to make use of all their senses for survival purposes in an extreme environment where resources are often scarce, as well as leaving me with memories of what were, for me, new and different experiences. Such memories often find themselves 'etched' within one's consciousness. My most indelible memories of Namibia's deserts though, which the present day convenience of cameras allow us to capture and store, were the night sky sights and the dramatic sunsets.

Indelible Memories Part 2, in which I recall my experience of the Okavango Delta, will follow soon.


Thursday 22 December 2016

Steaming into the Past - The Sherborne Christmas Carol

One of my favourite aspects of mainline steam-hauled trains is the incongruence that they bring to the present day. Not only are they incongruent to a present day railway scene dominated by modern sprinter, voyager and pendolino units, overhead wires and electronic arrivals/departures boards, but also to contemporary passenger habits, including using mobile devices to check trains times, for which passengers of the 19th and early 20th century would most likely have used Michael Portillo's favourite book - the Bradshaws.

Black Fives 44871 and 45407 at London Victoria
In many ways, mainline steam-hauled trains are like time machines that have travelled from the past. But as well as coming from the past, my latest mainline steam experience also took me into the past. Travelling on the Sherborne Christmas Carol, double-headed by former London Midland and Scottish Railway Class 5's (known to many rail enthusiasts as 'Black Fives') 44871 and 45407 The Lancashire Fusilier (named in preservation), what I felt was especially noticeable travelling behind a double header was that there seemed to be thicker clouds of smoke flying past the windows as the train gathered momentum. The late former Poet Laureate and lover of railway journeys Sir John Betjeman wrote extensively about how railways create their own landscapes. Watching the smoke shroud the nearby woodlands, in this way steam-hauled journeys also often create their own scenery.

The Parade, Sherborne
Passing through Worting Junction, well-known as a pivotal location during the holiday season on the Southern Railway where holiday season specials either went across the bridge in the direction of Southampton or under the bridge along the former Atlantic Coast Express route to North Cornwall, the train stopped to take on water at Salisbury before heading onto Sherborne. Whereas it felt that the train had come from the past to the present, Sherborne's medieval architecture made it feel like the train had taken me into the past. As described by Thomas Hardy in his novel The Woodlanders*, it is as if some medieval stone masons had been flashed down through the centuries.

Tombs of Aethelbald and Ethelbert, Sherborne Abbey
Dominated by its abbey, Sherborne is said to be where Alfred the Great was educated. Though much of Sherborne Abbey that is seen today dates mainly from the 15th century, there is still some evidence of Norman and Saxon architecture. The abbey's north choir aisle contains two tombs that are said to be those of King Aethelbald of Wessex and King Ethelbert of Wessex, elder brothers of Alfred. History perhaps best remembers Alfred as the only English King to defeat the Vikings and burning cakes, but also had a vision of a new kind of kingdom for his time based on his love of reading. According to history, Alfred learned to read from his mother Osburh with his brothers, who read a book brightly illuminated by monks. Osburh said that whoever learned to read the quickest could have the book. The visual appeal of the illumination encouraged Alfred to learn and the book became his, though historians now think that rather than being able to read fluently, he was able to memorise the texts so well. Believing that without learning and Christian wisdom there could be no peace and prosperity, Alfred proposed to make works of literature, including holy texts, accessible to his subjects by translating them from Latin to Anglo-Saxon, over 500 years before the Protestant Reformation.

Ladybird Books' title Alfred the Great,
first published in 1956
This led me on personal trip down memory lane to a formula that was part of my childhood, and of many other British childhoods, Ladybird Books. Memories of Ladybird childhoods may well have been aroused recently through the presence of parody Ladybird titles on the shelves of WH Smiths satirising what the generation that read the originals feel they may since have been through (a midlife crisis) or have become (a hipster). For me though, growing up, Ladybird Books provided me with a beautifully illustrated window to learning, which suited my visual ways of thinking as a child with Asperger's Syndrome (then undiagnosed). Written in a simple language that could easily be understood by children, they were accompanied with beautiful illustrations, of which Sherborne's picturesque streets could well have adorned. I remember being attracted to the illustrations in Ladybird Books on many different subjects that arouse childhood fascinations including animals, historical figures, transport etc. but to understand what was happening in the illustrations, I learned to realise that I also needed to pay attention to the written text, which encouraged me to read and later explore further, something which many of us take into later life with us, including myself. Over a hundred years since the first book published by Ladybird Books, one can only wonder how many lifelong pursuits of learning and exploration began with them.

Reading about Alfred the Great with Ladybird Books, I also learned about the burh (later called boroughs) system Alfred developed to help defend his kingdom from possible future attacks. Alfred's burh system help to connect towns via fortified roads and bridges (in some cases reusing existing Roman roads), which as well as for defence purposes, also enabled a network of commerce. It is possible that without Alfred's translation programme and development of the burh system, subsequent events that I also learned about through Ladybird Books like the Industrial Revolution and with that, the coming of the railways, both of great importance to shaping the present day society we live in, might not have happened. In Alfred's time, most people rarely travelled much further than the village or settlement the lived in. Often it would take days to travel distances by horse or on foot that, in contemporary times, can be done in a few hours by train, bus or plane. The idea of inter-connection through the burh system would later enable future generations to travel beyond where, at one time, their 'world' would have stopped in a much more accessible, affordable and quicker way when the appropriate technology, railways and later motor vehicles, to make this possible arrived.

Sherborne Abbey
A special carols service was held at the abbey for passengers and staff of the Sherborne Christmas Carol. Travelling back to London Victoria, while Christmas tree lights from nearby houses shone through the clouds of smoke Black Fives 44871 and 45407 performed their own Christmas carol - 'Chuffing Home for Christmas'.

Wishing all readers a very happy and peaceful Christmas and all the best for the New Year.

*In Thomas Hardy's Wessex, Sherborne is named 'Sherton Abbas'

Special thanks to the Railway Touring Company for a fantastic day out.

Wednesday 20 July 2016

A Midnight Sun Adventure - A Week of Kayaking, Summitt Trekking and Glacier Hiking in Svalbard

After having experienced a week of days limited to just two hours of sunlight per day in the Finnish Far North, I felt encouraged to revisit the Arctic during the other extreme. This time during Midnight Sun season, where the Sun doesn't set for up to six months. Visiting the Svalbard Islands in the Arctic Ocean, I found that not only do the extremes of lighting at northern latitudes have different effects on the landscape, but also on mind and body.

The Midnight Sun shines brightly over Svalbard's Isfjorden

A Norwegian territory located on a latitude of 78 degrees north, the Svalbard archipelago is located about halfway between the northernmost part of mainland Norway and the North Pole. Being so far north means that the Sun is still high in the sky as late as 1.00 am, not even going behind the mountains! Spending a week camping under the Midnight Sun on Svalbard not only took me right out of my comfort zone but, being in a largely untouched landscape away from many modern conveniences e.g. wi-fi.

It is understandable how Norway's landscape of steep-sided fjords, bays and inlets, together with the difficulties much of the landscape presented for farming and overland travel, were made use of as transportation networks by the Vikings. Most likely, curiosity aroused by wondering what was on the other side of the horizon led them to build strong ships to embark on voyages into what then was the unknown. One of the first reminders of the world that the Vikings lived in that Svalbard presents is the Isfjorden, a long fjord that cuts through Spitsbergen (the archipelago's largest island) around where many of its settlements, including the largest Longyearbyen, are based. Apart from the road that links Longyearbyen to the airport, there are no roads on the archipelago, making sailing one of few viable ways of getting around, using the fjords as natural sailing routes. With little of the now known world then explored, heading out to the open sea could very easily have seemed, within their mindset, like heading out to the 'ends of the earth', not knowing what was over the horizon, including encountering any unexpected hazards. Though such mindsets now though are largely a thing of the past with Google maps and satellite navigation technology, there are still some challenges nature presents on which one can't rely on technology to navigate successfully to avoid collisions or pitfalls. Instead, one has to rely on their intuition, concentration and presence of mind, including making use of all five senses.

Two such experiences I had in Svalbard included kayaking towards the front of Esmark Glacier (Esmarkbreen) before later hiking on the glacier using crampons and an ice axe. An active glacier, carving, Esmarkbreen creates its own tides and waves when large chunks of ice break off the glacier into the sea making thunderous sounds which the Vikings could have mistaken for the sound of Thor's hammer! Svalbard's existence was confirmed by Dutch explorers who discovered the archipelago in 1596. It is possible but unconfirmed as to whether it had previously been visited by Viking explorers. Though there is a description of Svalbard in the Viking sagas, meaning 'cold shores', it is perhaps more likely that they refer to parts of Greenland's coastline.

Esmark Glacier (Esmarkbreen), Svalbard
The very name Svalbard may have meant cold shores to explorers over 800 years ago, but being in the Gulf Stream, Svalbard's shores can be surprisingly warm during summer. Kayaking towards the front of Esmarkbreen, I felt I had to be alert at all times using all five senses, listening for thunder sounds from the glacier to anticipate and prepare for  any sudden waves while keeping an eye open for floating pieces of ice approaching. Floating ice for a glacier can be very deceiving to the eye as, often only a small part of the ice is visible about the water surface, so you don't know at first whether an ice chunk is either relatively harmless or a major obstacle. When rowing towards floating ice, I found it useful to, where possible tap piece of ice to see if they could be pushed aside easily or if they were too heavy to move and I needed to steer around. As large pieces of ice carved from the glacier break up in the water they gradually spread out forming a ring, almost simulating Saturn's rings on Earth. Finding space to row a kayak through a ring of ice pieces was difficult and even harder work rowing through it when an opportunity came. With the ice moving constantly in the water, I to to be quick to row through before the gap became too narrow and I would get stuck!

Practising Crevice Rescue
After kayaking towards Esmarkbreen's mighty front, the next adventure was to walk up it. As well as an opportunity to practice mindfulness of walking, setting foot on a surface that is not only obviously outside of one's comfort zone, but despite having previously walked on glaciers, Esmarkbreen presented a completely different challenge.Unless one does it regularly, stepping on a glacier feels like learning to walk again and re-learning tying your shoelaces when putting on crampons. For much of the year, Svalbard's glaciers are under heavy snow. Even after much of the snow has melted during summer, there are still patches of thick snow on the ice into which one can sink. Numerous deep crevices in the glacier also present a hazard. Before going any further up the ice flow, groups trekking Esmarkbreen are instructed in crevice rescue should one be unfortunate to fall in. Being roped together in a trek team provided assurance that should you fall into a crevice or get your foot stuck in thick snow to help pull you out if they can.

Initially, when walking on Esmarkbreen, I found that it was difficult to distinguish between ice and snow surfaces with the eye alone when I got my foot stuck in patch of snow! This was where, for the next stage of the trek that the ice axe became invaluable, almost becoming like a 'sixth sense' to test whether the immediate yard in front of me was solid enough to walk on, or if I would have to take a diversion. All glaciers have their own individually shaped surfaces in accordance with their surrounding conditions, their flow gradually carving their own landscapes within the mountains. As with trekking in any landscape, it helps to adapt to it with an open approach, making using of the forces and properties of nature, including using the ice shapes as steps, and where necessary, carving steps in the ice with the ice axe, while at the same time having a conscious awareness of whom you are roped to, offering assistance where needed.

View from Varmlandsryggen
Making the forces and properties of nature your own by adapting to and going with them, it also enables one to see the journeys that natural processes bring, not just down the mountains, but through the seasons, where the effects of Svalbard's five seasons are visible. Svalbard has five seasons, As well as Spring, Summer and Autumn, there is also Light Winter and Dark Winter. During Dark Winter which there is no sunlight for up to five months, known locally as the 'Polar Night'. Though Svalbard must feel like a different world during Polar Night, the effects its seasons bring don't exist in isolation, but are inter-connected with the rhythms and flow of nature and time. Ascending the Varmlandsryggen, a steep 575m, in summer there is still a lot of thick snow at the summit, around which much of the landscape would be covered by during winter. But looking down the surrounding ice flows towards the shore, a different landscape of glacier carved fjords and inlets, permafrost and huge amounts rocks and sediments deposited by melted ice flows (moraine) is revealed. Coming down the mountain, the journeys that the snow and ice bring are revealed when running water is sighted. Most interesting is the route by which the flows of water find their way into the Isfjorden, which isn't often obvious. it often appears that flowing streams from the ice flows seems to suddenly 'stop' at large deposits of moraine before they find their way to the Isfjorden. But just like one finds their own way, at their own physical level, to the summit at Varmlandsryggen or to inner peace in a meditative context, each stream finds its own way into the Isfjorden going through or around the moraine deposits.

Wild Reindeer
Bearded Seal
During a season without darkness, such physically demanding activity was necessary to ensure that I would get to sleep later, but even with such excess physical activity, it felt difficult to get tired under the Midnight Sun. This provided me with a little reminder though of how I used to find it very difficult to 'switch off' and relax most of the time before I started practising mindfulness. Though even now there are times when I still find this difficult, with mindfulness I feel as though I have more control. I felt I managed to sleep under a very bright Midnight Sun, though even when feeling exhausted physically, it took a lot of effort. During the evening hours, campers had to take it in turns to be on watch duty, in case a polar bear, one of few animals that will attack and eat humans if hungry enough, came near the camp. When going beyond Longyearbyen, visitors to Svalbard must be accompanied by a guide with a rifle in case of an encounter with one of Svalbard's 3,500 polar bears. Though on this occasion the King of the Arctic didn't make an appearance, there were some traces that a polar bear had been in the area hunting their prize prey of ring seals, including footprints and seal skin. Wildlife that I did see from a distance though included a bearded seal floating on ice near Esmarkbreen's front and some wild reindeer.

Gokstad Viking Ship, Oslo
Returning home via Oslo, I had a reminder of lost worlds I felt I had a glimpse into during a memorable week in Svalbard when visiting the Viking Ship and Fram Museums, the latter dedicated to polar expeditions .During the kayaking expedition, I felt I was able to experience a mentality that existed in the minds of the Viking sailors of 1,200 years ago and during the glacier hike, a mentality that polar explorers of the early 20th century, may well have experienced. Though many written histories still often portray the Vikings as brutal raiders, pillagers and plunderers (many of which were written by those to whom they were fierce enemies), underneath that, as suggested by some of the artefacts in the Viking Ship Museum, there was also a sophisticated civilisation that made great technological advances for their time, especially in shipbuilding. With that they gave us a spirit of travel and exploration, which has taken human ingenuity to testing environments including the North and South Poles and the Moon, and who knows where next? The impressive Gokstad and Oseberg ships in Oslo's Viking Ship Museum, serve as a reminder of how testing human ingenuity in such extreme conditions leads various innovations worth having that make up the present day world we may often take for granted.

As so often when travelling, something that I felt I brought back from Svalbard was an intuitive awareness and understanding of a completely different environment in which I had to adjust and adapt to regularly. In relation to being diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, getting use to environments different from what is the norm for me as well as managing and adapting to change isn't naturally easy for me, but coping with it by being present with it I find enables greater confidence in myself. Having said that, when I arrived home, it took me at least a week to get used to darkness again!

Huge thanks to Svalbard Wildlife Expeditions and their fabulous guides for all their help and support during the camp.